The Effect of Occult Development Upon the Self and the Sheaths of Man
GA 145
27 March 1913, The Hague
Lecture VIII
As we approach the processes in the astral body and in the Self of man as experienced in occult development, it becomes more and more difficult to describe them. For the experience in these parts of human nature is far removed from the experience of everyday life. In the ordinary life of the soul we usually experience life in the astral body as the flowing and ebbing of desires, emotions, impulses, passions, etc.; and we also feel as our inward life that which is expressed collectively in the ego. But what is thus experienced is really nothing but the reflection, the mirroring of the self and the astral body in the etheric body and the physical body; it is no conscious experience of the astral body and the self. We cannot through what we experience in the ordinary life of the soul obtain a true idea of the actual experience in the higher worlds in our astral body and self; therefore, when we describe these things, we must have recourse to a kind of representation suited to these higher worlds, we must have recourse to imaginations: and these imaginations are really actually experienced. But one must not imagine that the beholding of the clairvoyant imaginations is the only thing that we experience; in a sense it is not even the principal thing; the principal thing is what we then experience inwardly through it; the processes and inward tests which the soul goes through when it confronts these imaginations.
And this is particularly the case with such an important and powerful imagination as that which has been described as the Paradise-Imagination. One who really experiences this Paradise-Imagination, who can have it before him as a conquest in higher experience, feels himself standing in the middle of an inner surging of the soul, he feels himself laid hold of by an inner soul-wave, and he feels that he himself might err in the two different directions described in the last lecture; he feels himself attracted, vividly attracted by all the passions and emotions which continue to work from the personal life he had previously led on the physical plane; for the personal interests which we have gradually acquired on the physical plane work with ever-increasing strength as numberless magnetic forces of attraction. But, on the other hand, he feels something else. The nearer he comes, the more clearly he sees this Paradise-Imagination, the more power have these forces which draw him down to personal interests. What they bring about in him is that they blot out the Paradise-Imagination more and more, or perhaps it would be better to say that they prevent it from appearing properly; he is as though benumbed: the personal interests, emotions, feelings, sensations, etc., which we drag about with us, are so many hundreds and hundreds of magnetic forces which are so many causes of stupefaction. When the student tries to progress so far in his self-training that he observes his astral body more and more truthfully (for the Paradise-Imagination is experienced outside the physical body and etheric body, that is, in the astral body and Ego), when he has grasped the true nature and character of the astral body, he knows that it is the Egotist. And he alone is in the right position at this point, which he has reached through self-training, if he does not allow his egotistical interests to become personal to his nature and to draw him with numberless forces, but can make the interests of the whole of humanity and the world more and more his own. At this stage of occult development a counter-balance against the egotism of the astral body is felt, something which is the more evident, the more the egotistic forces bestir themselves in the now liberated astral body. There is an ever-increasing feeling of solitude, icy solitude. This icy solitude is also part of what is experienced in the inward surging of the soul. It is this icy solitude which cures one of allowing egotism to have the upper hand, and the student has trained himself correctly if at this point in his occult development he can feel the impulse to be everything through himself and for himself, and can at the same time also feel the frosty solitude approaching him.
It is just as important to have this feeling as to approach gradually to the Paradise-Imagination. And when these two forces, that of the egotism which expands to world-interests and the frosty solitude, work together, the student then draws nearer and nearer to the Paradise-Imagination. And when this latter appears in all its vividness, when it is actually there, the time has also arrived for experiencing the meeting with the Guardian of the Threshold in the entirely right way. It is difficult to give a single description of the Guardian of the Threshold—I have done so on different occasions in our theosophical considerations. It is not so much our task to-day to describe the Guardian of the Threshold as to describe the inward experiences in the sheaths of man and in the human self. If the student draws closer to the Paradise-Imagination; that is to say, if it becomes more and more vivid, and he meets the Guardian of the Threshold, he then feels the full force of the magnetic forces just described, and as he confronts the Guardian of the Threshold he feels—and this is a dreadful sensation—he feels as though chained or rooted to the spot. For all the magnetic forces which draw him down to what is personal now exercise their strongest influence; and only if he progressed to the point at which the frosty solitude has become so instructive that he is really able to make the world's interests his own, does he pass the Guardian of the Threshold; and then only does he feel himself united with the Paradise-Imagination, and become one with it. He then feels himself within it. The experience is like a coming into a right relationship with the world-interests, so that he can confess: ‘Now only may I allow my own interests to assert themselves, for they have become the interests of the world.’
But if he does not pass, if he has not yet acquired sufficient universal interests, his personal interests then draw him back and there comes about what in Occultism is described as: not passing the Guardian of the Threshold. These personal interests obscure the Paradise-Imagination; he may obtain separate parts of it, as it were, indistinct impressions, but not perfect ones, and one is dragged back, as it were, into the personal life. It may then happen that he has thereby received the power to have a certain degree of clairvoyant experience; but these are then really maya-experiences; they may be quite misleading, for they are entirely permeated and clouded by personal interests.
Only through such an experience is the student able fully to comprehend—for it now becomes a serious matter to him, as it were—that personal interests must pass into world-interests if he really wishes to see accurately in the Spiritual world. It is actually the case that before attaining this stage he cannot thoroughly believe this, for the personal interests are against it; but now having reached this point he sees it.
We have now reached a very hazardous place in the description of occult conditions; yet the endeavour shall be made to describe the next steps also, as they appear from the experience of occultists, and in the way in which they must be given, reckoning with the fact that our hearers are trying, in a sense, to make these things a possession of their own souls, and to work upon them further; for things such as these cannot be expressed in dry abstract ideas; we must try to portray what appears to clairvoyant vision. Now, this clairvoyant vision should by no means be understood as something that can be rigidly and diagrammatically depicted; but what I shall describe is again a typical experience, like that of the Paradise-experience, and we must really have this experience in order to recognise afterwards what knowledge and occult vision really are. Until this experience comes we can have no real idea, I mean no experienced idea, of occult vision; but still, when such a thing is described, we can understand it, if we bring sound human understanding to bear upon it. It must now be described, as far as is possible, from vision itself.
I will suppose that the student has passed the Guardian of the Threshold and the union with the Paradise-Imagination is accomplished; that he feels within it, as if this Paradise-Imagination had now become his own greater astral sheath. He still distinctly feels his own astral body about him, and knows that it is connected with his Self, but at the same time he knows that this astral body extends its interests to all that concerns the objects and beings of the Paradise-Imagination. When the student knows his union with the Paradise-Imagination is accomplished, he may then have somewhat the following impression: he will perceive his own astral body as belonging to him, and when he has felt sufficiently what has just been described as icy solitude, this feeling becomes a power within him, and it will preserve him from gazing at nothing but himself after his accomplishment of his union with the Paradise-Imagination. He will thereby create for himself, as it were, the organ by which he may behold other beings. His occult vision will first fall on another being, a being who will make a special impression upon him, because it will appear just like himself. He himself feels that he is in his Self and astral body; the other being also at first appears to him with a Self and an astral body. This is because the qualities and powers which the pupil brings with him to such a moment enables him to see just such a being, which presents itself as if in a self and an astral body. The student will now have the following experience—produced by the frosty solitude which he has learned to bear.
The forces of his astral body will be seen endeavouring to flow outwards. If I were to represent this in diagram, I should have to draw it in this manner; but, as I have said, it is only very diagrammatically expressed. I draw the Self something like the nucleus of a comet, and the astral body like the comet's tail spreading out above.
But that is only a diagram; for the student really sees a being, he sees himself as a being, and this vision is much more complex than the vision of one's own being as physical man. He also sees within his own self the other being to which he looks across. As already said, this is a typical experience. His vision simply falls upon such a being, but he feels that this being is not in such a sphere of frosty solitude as he is himself, and therefore its astral body is seen as though directed downwards. It is extremely important to experience this, to feel oneself as if in an astral body which opens upwards, develops its rays of force upwards, wishes to stream upwards, and yet to see the other being as a Self whose astral body develops its forces downwards.
With this typical experience there now comes into the self-consciousness something like the following: ‘I am of lower degree, of less value than this other being. What is valuable in the other being is that it can open its astral body downwards, it can, as it were, pour its forces downwards.’ And the student's impression is that of having left the physical world. The forces which proceed downwards from the astral body of the other go to the physical world, and work there as forces of blessing; in short, he has the impression that he is confronting a being that may send down to the earth, as a Spiritual rain of blessing, that which it has acquired in the Spiritual world; whereas he himself cannot direct his astral body downwards, it insists on going upwards. He has a feeling that he is of less value, because he cannot direct his astral body downwards. Further, he has a feeling that this consciousness arising thus within him must lead to a Spiritual act. A Spiritual decision matures. This Spiritual decision is to take his loneliness to this second being and warm his coldness with his warmth; he unites himself with this other being. Now, for a moment he has the impression that his own consciousness is being blotted out, as though he had brought about a sort of killing of his own being, a sort of consuming of his own being as though by fire. Then flashes into the self-consciousness, which had previously felt itself blotted out, something which he now first learns to know: Inspiration. He feels himself inspired. It is like a conversation, a typical conversation, now held with a being whom he has only learned to know because it allows him to share in its inspiration. If a student is really capable of understanding what this being sends in as his inspiring voice, he might translate what it says in somewhat the following words: ‘Because thou hast found the way to the other and hast united thyself with his beneficial rain of sacrifice, thou may'st return to the earth with him, within him, and I will make thee his guardian on the earth.’ And the student has the feeling that something of infinite importance has been taken into his soul through being able to hear these words of inspiration. In the Spiritual there is a being that is more precious than oneself, and that is .allowed to pour its astral being downwards in blessing. Through the impression of being able to unite with this being, and being its guardian when he descends, the student first learns to understand how, as physical human beings who tread the earth, we are really related through our physical and etheric coverings to that which is impregnated as higher powers in the Self and the astral body. In our physical and etheric coverings we are guardians of that which is to develop further and further to higher spheres. Only in this inner experience, when he feels his external being as the guardian of the inner being, does a man really have a true understanding of the relation of the external being to the inner being of man.
Now, when the student has passed the Guardian of the Threshold, the experience which I have just described does not stand alone, but is followed by another. I have described the purely clairvoyant and inspired experience the student may have when, outside the physical body and etheric body, he arrives at union with the Paradise-Imagination, and then obtains the inspiration which first gives an idea of the inter-relationship between the sheaths. But when he has passed the Guardian of the Threshold a second impression is added to the first one; the vision opens past the Guardian of the Threshold down into the physical world. I draw a line to represent the boundary between the higher Spiritual worlds and the physical world; above it is the realm of the Spiritual worlds and below that of the physical.
He now sees down into the physical world, as it were, and there appears another picture, a picture of himself standing below as man. The student observes his own astral body; but this astral body which now appears as a reflection is directed downwards, it does not try to develop the force to stream towards the Spiritual world; it clings closely, as it were, to the physical plane, it does not raise itself to the heights. He also sees the reflection of the other being, whose astral body streams upwards. He has the feeling that this astral body is streaming into the Spiritual world. He sees himself and he sees the other, and he has the feeling: ‘Thou standest there below once more; in the place of the other being there stands there below a quite different man; he is a better man than thou; his astral body strives upward, it rises upward like smoke. Thy astral body strives towards the earth, it goes like smoke downward.’ He has a feeling of the Self which dwells within him as he thus looks down, and the following dreadful impression comes to him: Within thee a resolve is being formed, a dreadful resolve, the resolution to kill the other whom thou feelest to be better than thou. The student knows that this decision does not come entirely from the Self, for his Self is there above. It is another being that speaks out of the one there below; but this being suggests the decision to kill the other. And he again hears the voice which previously inspired him, but now it sounds as a dreadful, avenging voice: ‘Where is thy brother?’ And from this self bursts forth a voice hostile to the former. Previously the inspiration was as follows: ‘Through having united thyself with the beneficent powers of the other being, thou desirest to pour thyself downwards with them, and I will make thee the guardian of the other being.’ There now bursts forth from this being that one recognises as oneself the words: ‘I will not be my brother's keeper.’ First comes the resolve to kill the other, then the protest against the inspiring voice which said: ‘Because thou hast wished to unite thy coldness with that warmth I appoint thee to be the guardian of that other;’ the protest: ‘I will not be his guardian.’
When we have had this imaginative experience, we then know all of which the human soul is capable, and above all we know one thing: that, if perverted, the noblest things in the Spiritual world may become the most dreadful things in the physical world. We know that in the depths of the human soul, through the perversion of the noblest readiness to sacrifice, may arise the wish to kill our companion. From this moment we know what is meant in the Bible by the story of Cain and Abel—but only from this moment—for the story of Cain and Abel is none other than the reproduction of an occult experience, which has just been described. If the writer of the story of Cain and Abel had been able to describe what took place with man before the time of the story of Paradise from other reasons than those displayed in the course of the development of humanity, he would have described the first experience, the upper one (on the diagram). Thus he begins with the story of Paradise, and describes its reflection; for Cain felt in this manner towards Abel before that period in the development of the earth indicated by the story of Paradise, he felt towards him as it has been shown here above. And after the temptation, and after the loss of the vision which is regained in occult vision through the Paradise-Imagination, Cain's readiness to sacrifice had passed into what appears here below; his readiness to sacrifice had really changed into the wish to kill the other. The cry we read of in the Bible: ‘Am I to be my brother's keeper?’ is the reverse reflection of the other inspiration: ‘I will make thee the guardian of the other here below on the earth.’ From this you will be able to see that these typical experiences are certainly important; for they bring about a certain union between what we may be to-day and the interests common to all humanity. But at the same time they show us very clearly by what we experience in them in our pulsing soul-life, that the principal thing is to feel the colossal leap the development of humanity has made from what I described to you as the first, the pre-earthly imagination, as it were, to that which is presented in the story of Cain and Abel as an event in humanity after the expulsion from Paradise, after the expulsion through which the Guardian of the Threshold has become invisible for man. The knowledge of this leap in the development of humanity really first shows us what this earthly man is; for when we really feel through and through what has just been described, we gradually experience that this earthly man, as he now is here upon the earth, is the perversion of what he once was. And we then know with great certainty what we should have become if nothing else had intervened. If we had simply developed in this earthly evolution without anything further, we should have become aware of what this is the reflection on the earth. We were not to know this to begin with. It is really only in our present age that man is allowed to know of what the story of Cain and Abel is the reflection, that it is the reflection of a lofty sacrifice. All that was above, everything before Paradise was concealed, for the Guardian himself hid it from us, when, in other words, man was driven out of Paradise. This could only come about through the physical body and etheric body of man being now so permeated with forces that he does not carry out what appears as the reflection—for he certainly would carry it out if he were to feel all that is in the astral body. The physical body and etheric body so stupefy the human being that his wish to kill his fellow is not actualised. Consider what is said in this simple sentence: In that the good, progressive, divine Spiritual Powers gave man a physical and an etheric body, so that he cannot look back, something like a sort of stupefaction was at the same time poured over the wish for the war of each against all. The desire for this is not roused in the soul, because the physical body and etheric body of man were prepared in such a way that this desire is benumbed. A person cannot see his astral body; therefore this wish, too, remains unknown to him; he does not carry it out.
If we wish really to describe the interaction of the astral body and the self, we must describe things which not only actually remain hidden to human nature, but which must so remain. But what has been brought about through the stunning of this and similar wishes—wishes connected with the annihilation and destruction of human and other communal life on the physical plane? They have become debilitated; the human soul only perceives them in a weakened form; it only feels them to a slight extent. And the dim feeling of those wishes that would be something so terrible if man were to allow them free expression, as they really are—this is really our human earthly knowledge.
I am now giving you for the first time a definition of the nature of human earthly knowledge. It consists of the dim and dulled impulses of destruction. Shiva in his most terrible form, so far stupefied that he cannot freely find expression but is, as it were, made threadbare, compressed into the human world of ideas—this is the maya of the human being, this is the knowledge of man. Thus knowledge had to be so weakened—that is to say, the impulses and inner forces had to be so weakened—that the original terrible impulse—ruled by Ahriman, that Ahriman's power (for originally it is Ahriman who gives rise to this wish) should be so far weakened that he could not express himself through man, who would have thereby made himself permanently a servant of Shiva. The sum total of these forces had to be so weakened that its expression in man only enables him to transpose himself into the being of another with his conceptions and ideas. When we try to force an idea of our own into the being of another, when we try to imbue another with a conception of our own, this conception impressed into the nature of the other is the blunted weapon of Cain which was thrust into Abel. And because this weapon was thus blunted it was made possible for that which was at a bound reversed into its opposite, to pass over into evolution. And thus by a slower evolution, through ever-increasing strengthening of his knowledge, man reaches at last the experience of something he was not permitted to express in the physical world because it there became a destructive impulse; stage by stage he develops first ordinary knowledge, then imaginative knowledge, which enters more into the being of another, then inspirational knowledge, which penetrates still more into the being of another, till in intuitive knowledge he enters it entirely and lives on spiritually in the other being.
Thus we gradually struggle up to the comprehension of what this self really is. As to its innermost nature, the astral body is seen to be the great egotist; the self is more than that—it not only lives for itself, but wishes to pass over into others as well. And knowledge, such as is acquired on earth, is this dulled passion to enter into another, not merely to expand oneself and all that one is, but further to pass beyond oneself into another. It is egotism intensified and extended beyond itself.
If you bear in mind what the origin of knowledge is, you will then understand that there is always the possibility of misusing it, for if this is a true knowledge in the Self, the moment it goes astray it is misused. Only by progressing, and making this penetration into another more and more spiritual, and the renunciation by the astral body which has expanded to world-interests, of this penetration into another's being, only by leaving his constitution quite untouched and placing his interests higher than our own, can we make ourselves ready for higher knowledge. Moreover, we cannot recognise a being of the hierarchy of the angels, for instance, if we have not reached the stage when the inner being of the angels interests us more than does our own. As long as we have more interest in our own being than in the being of the angels, we cannot recognise them. Thus we must first educate ourselves up to world-interests, and then to interests that go even further, so that another can be more important and of more consequence than oneself. The moment we try to develop further in occult experiences, while yet remaining more precious to ourselves than the other beings we wish to know, that same moment we go astray. At this point, if you follow out this train of thought, you really come to a true conception of black magic; for black magic begins where occult activity is carried into the world without our first being in the position to expand our own interests into world-interests, without being able to value other interests more than our own.
Such things can really only be touched upon, so as to arouse conceptions concerning them; they are too important for more than this. I wished to show how we may gradually come to recognise in its true form, not in its maya, that which dwells within us as astral body and self; for what a man experiences inwardly as his astral body is not the true astral body, but merely the reflection of that in the etheric body. And what a man calls his self is not the true Ego, but a reflection of the Ego in his physical body. A man only experiences reflections of his inner being. If he were to experience the forms of his own inner astral body and Ego before he was sufficiently mature, impulses of destruction would be enkindled within him; he would become an aggressive being; the desire to injure would arise within him. And such things underlie all black magic. Although the paths followed by black magic are many, the effect they aim at is always something like a covenant with Ahriman or Shiva. We can only learn to recognise the astral body and Ego in their true form if at the same time we acknowledge the necessity of developing them and making them worthy of being what they ought to be. The innermost nature of the astral body is egotism; but it should become our ideal to be permitted to be an egotist because the interests of the world have become our own. It must be our ideal to be allowed to enter into another being because we do not intend to seek our own interests, but we find the other being more important than ourselves. Self-education must go so far that we feel this upper picture in all its occult-moral significance; that we so gradually transform this picture which is our self, that we can no longer be warmed by our own emotions, impulses, desires and passions, but that with living our life in the astral body we enter the frosty solitude; we then thereby open ourselves to the warmth, to the warm interest which streams forth from the other worlds, and wish to unite ourselves with the beneficent forces proceeding from this other being. This is at the same time the starting-point for a gradual raising of our self to the higher Hierarchies in their true form. We do not attain to the Beings of the higher Hierarchies if we are not in a position worthily to confront the Imagination and Inspiration which has been described, and to bear seeing its opposite picture; that is, the possibilities in the depths of human nature when it was cast down from the Spiritual into the physical world. If we refuse to look upon the twofold picture of Cain and Abel below—our own self, and the representative of our Higher Self—the mediator between our self and the higher Hierarchies—we cannot ascend. But when we are able to cultivate within our self the feeling indicated here, we then experience our Self, and this provides the entrance to the higher orders of the Hierarchies.
Neunter Vortrag
Wenn man an die Vorgänge im astralischen Leib und im Selbst des Menschen herantritt, insofern sie erfahren, erlebt werden durch eine okkulte Entwicklung, so wird die Schilderung immer schwieriger. Denn man entfernt sich mit dem Erleben in diesen Gliedern der Menschennatur sehr weit von dem, was man gewohnt ist zu erleben im alltäglichen Dasein. Im gewöhnlichen Seelenleben, da ist es ja so, daß man als sein Innenleben allerdings empfindet das Leben im astralischen Leibe in den auf- und abflutenden Leidenschaften, Affekten, Trieben, Begierden und so weiter; daß man auch als sein Innenleben empfindet dasjenige, was seinen Ausdruck findet in der Zusammenfassung im Ich. Allein, was man so erlebt, das ist ja doch nichts anderes als der Widerschein, die Spiegelung des Selbstes und des astralischen Leibes am Ätherleib und am physischen Leib, das ist kein bewußtes Miterleben des astralischen Leibes und des Selbstes. Und man kann durch das, was man im gewöhnlichen Seelenleben hat, überhaupt keine rechte Vorstellung gewinnen von dem eigentlichen Erleben innerhalb der höheren Welten im astralischen Leib und im Selbst. Daher muß man, wenn man diese Dinge schildert, die Zuflucht nehmen zu einer solchen Art der Darstellung, die naturgemäß ist für diese höheren Welten, man muß die Zuflucht nehmen zu Imaginationen; und diese Imaginationen werden ja auch in der Wirklichkeit erlebt. Allein Sie müssen sich, meine lieben Freunde, nicht vorstellen, daß das Anschauen, gleichsam das Hinstarren auf die hellseherischen Imaginationen das einzige ist, was man erlebt; es ist gewissermaßen nicht einmal die Hauptsache; die Hauptsache ist das, was man innerlich dabei mitmacht, was die Seele an Vorgängen und inneren Prüfungen durchmacht, wenn sie diesen Imaginationen gegenübersteht.
Und so ist es denn auch namentlich solch bedeutsamen, gewaltigen Imaginationen gegenüber, wie diejenige eine ist, die geschildert worden ist in der Paradieses-Imagination. Wer diese ParadiesesImagination wirklich erlebt, wer sie also als eine Errungenschaft des höheren Erlebens vor sich haben kann, der fühlt sich mitten drinnenstehend in einem inneren Seelenwogen, er fühlt sich ergriffen von einem inneren Seelenwogen und fühlt, wie er gewissermaßen nach den zwei gestern bezeichneten Richtungen abirren kann. Wie er angezogen wird, lebendig angezogen wird von all den Leidenschaften, Affekten, die aus dem persönlichen Leben, das man eben einmal auf dem physischen Plan führt, nachwirken - denn wie hundert und aber hundert magnetische Anziehungskräfte wirken immer stärker und stärker die persönlichen Interessen, die man sich nach und nach herangezogen hat auf dem physischen Plan -, auf der anderen Seite aber fühlt man noch etwas anderes. Je mehr man in die Nähe kommt, je deutlicher diese Paradieses-Imagination zu sehen ist, desto mehr Stärke gewinnen diese Kräfte, die einen zu den persönlichen Interessen herunterziehen, und das, was sie an einem bewirken, das ist: sie löschen einem immer mehr und mehr diese Paradieses-Imagination aus, oder besser gesagt, sie lassen sie gar nicht richtig entstehen, man wird wie betäubt. Was man da mitschleppt an persönlichen Interessen, Affekten, Gefühlen und Empfindungen und so weiter, das sind ebenso viele Hunderte und aber Hunderte von magnetischen Kräften, wie sie auf der anderen Seite Betäubungsmittel sind. Und dann, wenn man versucht, seine Selbsterziehung so weit zu bringen, daß man den astralischen Leib sozusagen immer mehr in Wahrheit betrachtet - man ist ja, wenn man diese Paradieses-Imagination hat, außerhalb seines physischen und ätherischen Leibes, also man ist in seinem astralischen Leib und Ich -, wenn man erfaßt hat die Natur und den Charakter des Astralleibes, dann weiß man: der ist der Egoist. Und der ist nur gerechtfertigt an dieser Stelle, die man da durch Selbsterziehung erlangt hat, wenn er in seine egoistischen Interessen nicht das Persönliche zu seinem Wesen macht, das dann mit den hundert und aber hundert Kräften kommt, sondern wenn er immer mehr die ganz allgemeinen Menschheits- und Weltinteressen zu den seinigen machen kann. Man fühlt nämlich wie ein Gegengewicht an dieser Stelle der okkulten Entwicklung gegen den Egoismus des astralischen Leibes ein anderes, das immer mehr und mehr heraufkommt, je mehr sozusagen die egoistischen Kräfte sich regen in dem freigewordenen astralischen Leibe. Man fühlt immer mehr Einsamkeit, eisige Einsamkeit. Das gehört auch zu dem, was man im innerlichen Wogen erlebt, die eisige Einsamkeit. Und diese eisige Einsamkeit, die ist es, die einen kuriert von dem Überhandnehmenlassen des Egoismus, und man hat sich richtig erzogen, wenn man an diesem Punkt der okkulten Entwicklung nebeneinander fühlen kann den Trieb, alles durch sich und für sich zu sein, aber wenn man auch die frostige Einsamkeit an sich herankommen fühlt.
Es ist ebenso wichtig, dieses Gefühl zu haben, wie allmählich sich der Paradieses-Imagination zu nähern. Und wenn diese beiden Kräfte, der Egoismus, der sich zu Weltinteressen ausdehnt, und die frostige Einsamkeit zusammenwirken, dann nähert man sich immer mehr und mehr der Paradieses-Imagination. Und wenn diese aufgetreten ist mit der entsprechenden Lebendigkeit, wenn sie wirklich da ist, dann ist auch der Zeitpunkt gekommen, wo man in der ganz richtigen Weise die Begegnung mit dem Hüter der Schwelle! erlebt. Es ist schwierig, diesen Hüter der Schwelle auf einmal zu charakterisieren - ich habe es ja an verschiedenen Stellen unserer Betrachtungen getan. Heute soll es weniger darauf ankommen, diesen Hüter der Schwelle zu charakterisieren, als das innere Erleben an den menschlichen Hüllen und an dem menschlichen Selbst. Kommt man also nahe der Paradieses-Imagination, daß heißt, wird sie immer lebendiger und lebendiger und begegnet man dann dem Hüter der Schwelle, dann fühlt man erst recht stark die geschilderten magnetischen Kräfte, und indem man dem Hüter der Schwelle gegenübersteht, fühlt man sich - und das ist eine furchtbar erschütternde Empfindung - wie gefesselt, wie gebannt. Denn alle diese magnetischen Kräfte, die einen in das Persönliche hinunterziehen, die üben jetzt ihren stärksten Einfluß aus; und nur wenn man es so weit gebracht hat, wenn einem die frostige Einsamkeit so zum Erzieher geworden ist, daß man imstande ist, wirkliche Weltinteressen zu seinen Interessen zu machen, dann kommt man vorbei an dem Hüter der Schwelle. Und dann kann man das fühlen, was man nennen kann: Man vereinigt sich mit der ParadiesesImagination, man wird eins mit ihr. Man fühlt sich dann drinnen in ihr. Dieses Erlebnis, sich drinnen zu fühlen, das ist wie ein Gerechtfertigt-sich-Fühlen in den Welteninteressen, so daß man sich gestehen darf: Ja, du darfst deine eigenen Interessen geltend machen, denn sie sind jetzt die Welteninteressen. - Wenn man aber nicht vorbeikommt, wenn man noch nicht allgemeine Interessen genug gewonnen hat, dann ziehen einen die persönlichen Interessen zurück, und dann tritt das ein, was man im Okkultismus nennt: man kommt nicht an dem Hüter der Schwelle vorbei. Dann verdunkeln diese persönlichen Interessen die Paradieses-Imagination; dann gewinnt man sozusagen einzelne Stücke aus derselben, gewinnt undeutliche Eindrücke, aber nicht vollständige, und man wird wie zurückgerissen wiederum in das persönliche Leben. Aber es kann dann der Fall eintreten, daß man bis zu einem gewissen Grade die Möglichkeit erhalten hat, hellseherische Erlebnisse zu haben. Diese hellseherischen Erlebnisse sind dann erst recht MajaErlebnisse, die können ganz irrtümlich sein; denn sie sind überall durchzogen und benebelt von den persönlichen Interessen.
Durch solch ein Erlebnis wird es einem erst völlig begreiflich, wird es einem erst sozusagen ernst, wie die persönlichen Interessen in Welteninteressen übergegangen sein müssen, wenn man wirklich Richtiges sehen will in der geistigen Welt. Es ist tatsächlich so, daß man es vorher nicht recht glauben kann, da ja die persönlichen Interessen gegen diesen Glauben sprechen; aber an der geschilderten Stelle merkt man es schon.
Wir befinden uns sozusagen hier, meine lieben Freunde, an einer recht gewagten Stelle der Schilderung okkulter Verhältnisse. Dennoch soll versucht werden, auch die nächsten Schritte zu bezeichnen in einer solchen Weise, wie sie sich da aus der Erfahrung des Okkultisten ergeben und wie sie gegeben werden müssen, wenn darauf gerechnet werden soll, daß die Zuhörer versuchen, diese Dinge in einer gewissen Weise zum Eigentum ihrer Seelen zu machen, sie weiterzuverarbeiten. Denn in trockenen abstrakten Begriffen kann man diese Dinge nicht geben; man muß versuchen, nachzuzeichnen, was sich dem hellseherischen Anschauen ergibt. Nun ist dieses hellseherische Anschauen nicht etwa so zu verstehen, daß es sozusagen mit starrer schematischer Notwendigkeit gezeichnet werden kann; aber das, was ich schildern werde, ist wiederum ein typisches Erlebnis wie das Paradieseserlebnis, und man muß eigentlich dieses Erlebnis haben, um nachher erkennen zu lassen, was eigentlich Erkenntnis ist und was eigentlich okkultes Schauen ist. Vorher kann man keinen richtigen Begriff haben, ich meine keinen erlebten Begriff von okkultem Schauen. Man kann aber, wenn einem solche Dinge geschildert sind, selbst solche Dinge noch verstehen, wenn man den gesunden Menschenverstand anwendet. Aber es muß einmal geschildert werden, wie es eben geschildert werden kann aus der Schauung heraus.
Ich nehme hypothetisch an, ein Mensch sei an dem Hüter der Schwelle vorbeigekommen, hätte gefeiert seine Vereinigung mit der Paradieses-Imagination, fühlte sich so darinnen, wie wenn diese Paradieses-Imagination jetzt seine eigene größere astralische Hülle geworden wäre. Also so, daß er zwar seinen astralischen Leib an sich genau noch empfindet, daß er weiß: der ist mit seinem Selbst zusammenhängend; aber daß dieser astralische Leib zugleich seine Interessen nach alledem ausdehnt, was die Dinge und Wesenheiten der Paradieses-Imagination angeht. Wenn der Mensch diese Vereinigung mit der Paradieses-Imagination gefeiert hat, dann kann er etwa den folgenden Eindruck haben: Er wird seinen eigenen astralischen Leib als zu ihm gehörig wahrnehmen, und wenn er genügend gefühlt hat das, was eben als frostige Einsamkeit geschildert worden ist, so wird dieses Gefühl in ihm eine Kraft sein, und dieses Gefühl frostiger Einsamkeit wird ihn davor bewahren, nur sich selber zu schauen, wenn er die Vereinigung mit der Paradieses-Imagination gefeiert hat. Er wird dadurch gleichsam das Organ sich schaffen, andere Wesenheiten zu schauen. Sein okkulter Blick wird zunächst fallen auf eine andere Wesenheit, auf eine Wesenheit, die auf ihn dadurch einen besonderen Eindruck machen wird, daß sie ihm ähnlich so erscheinen wird, wie er selber ist. Er selber fühlt sich in seinem Selbst und seinem astralischen Leibe; das andere Wesen wird ihm zunächst auch mit einem Selbst und einem astralischen Leibe erscheinen. Die Sache kommt davon her, weil die Eigenschaften und Kräfte, die sich der Mensch mitbringt für einen solchen Augenblick, es bewirken, daß er gerade solch ein Wesen schauen kann, welches sich wie in einem Selbst und in einem astralischen Leibe darstellt. - Nun wird der Mensch folgendes fühlen, und dieses Fühlen wird bewirkt durch die frostige Einsamkeit, die er ertragen gelernt hat.
Sein astralischer Leib wird sich in seinen Kraftwirkungen so darstellen, als wenn er nach aufwärts strömen wollte. Wenn ich schematisch das darstellen wollte, so müßte ich es so zeichnen - aber wie gesagt, ich mache nur eine ganz schematische Zeichnung -: Das Selbst zeichne ich wie einen Kometenkern und den astralischen Leib wie einen nach oben ausschweifenden Kometenschweif. Aber das ist schematisch; denn man schaut ein Wesen, man schaut sich selber als ein Wesen - und das Anschauen ist viel komplizierter als das Anschauen des eigenen Wesens als physischer Mensch. Das andere Wesen, zu dem man hinüberschaut, sieht man auch in seinem Selbst - wie gesagt, es ist das ein typisches Erlebnis, es ist so gemeint, daß einfach der Blick zuerst auf ein solches Wesen fällt -, aber man fühlt: Dieses Wesen steht nicht in einer solchen Sphäre frostiger Einsamkeit wie man selber, und dadurch zeigt es den astralischen Leib wie nach abwärts gerichtet. - Es ist höchst bedeutsam, dieses zu erleben: sich selber wie in einem Astralleib fühlend, der nach oben sich öffnet, nach oben seine Kraftwirkungen entfaltet, nach oben strömen will, und den anderen, das andere Wesen erblickend wie ein Selbst, dessen Astralleib nach unten seine Kräfte entfaltet.
Nun taucht diesem typischen Erlebnis gegenüber im Selbstbewußtsein etwas auf wie: Du bist im Nachteil, du bist weniger wert als dieses andere Wesen. Das ist wertvoll an dem anderen Wesen, daß es seinen astralischen Leib nach unten öffnen kann, seine Kräfte nach unten gleichsam ergießen kann; das ist wertvoll an diesem Wesen. Und man bekommt den Eindruck, man habe ja die physische Welt verlassen, die Kräfte, welche von dem astralischen Leib des anderen nach unten gehen, die gehen nach der physischen Welt und wirken dort als Segenskräfte. Kurz, man hat den Eindruck, daß man einem Wesen gegenübersteht, das dasjenige, was es sich errungen hat in der geistigen Welt, wie einen segnenden Geistesregen nach abwärts auf die Erde schicken darf; und selber kann man seinen astralischen Leib nicht nach abwärts dirigieren, der will nach aufwärts. Man bekommt das Gefühl, daß man dadurch weniger wert ist, weil man den astralischen Leib nicht nach abwärts dirigieren kann. Und man bekommt weiter das Gefühl: Dieses Bewußtsein, das da in dir aufgestiegen ist, muß dich zu einer geistigen Tat führen. Ein geistiger Entschluß reift. Der geistige Entschluß, welcher reift, ist der, daß man seine Einsamkeit zu diesem zweiten Wesen hinträgt und daß man seinen Frost erwärmen läßt an der Wärme des anderen Wesens, daß man sich vereinigt mit diesem anderen Wesen. Man hat einen Augenblick den Eindruck, als ob jetzt das Bewußtsein auslöschen würde, als ob man eine Art Ertötung des eigenen Wesens, wie eine Art Verbrennung des eigenen Wesens bewirkt hätte. Dann tritt das ein, was man nennen kann: es bricht in das Selbstbewußtsein, das sich wie ausgelöscht schon fühlte, etwas herein, was man jetzt erst kennenlernt: die Inspiration. Man fühlt sich inspiriert. Es ist wie ein Gespräch, wie ein typisches Gespräch, das jetzt geführt wird mit einem Wesen, das man nur kennenlernt deshalb, weil es seine Inspiration einem zuteil werden läßt. Ist man fähig, das, was dieses Wesen als seine inspirierende Stimme hereinschickt, wirklich zu verstehen, so könnte man das, was dieses inspirierende Wesen sagt, etwa übersetzen in die Worte: Weil du den Weg zu dem anderen gefunden hast und dich vereinigt hast mit seinem Opferregen, so darfst du mit ihm, in ihm, zurückkehren zur Erde und ich werde dich auf der Erde zu seinem Hüter bestellen. Und man hat das Gefühl, daß man dadurch etwas unendlich Bedeutsames aufgenommen hat in seine Seele, daß man diese Worte hat hören dürfen, die Worte durch Inspiration. Es gibt im Geistigen ein Wesen, das wertvoller ist als man selbst, das segnend seine Astralität nach abwärts ergießen darf. Daß man sich vereinigen darf mit ihm und daß man, wenn man unten angekommen ist, sein Hüter sein darf, durch diesen Eindruck lernt man erst verstehen, wie man als physischer Mensch, der auf der Erde herumgeht, sich wirklich verhält mit seiner physischen und ätherischen Hülle zu dem, was einem als höhere Kräfte imprägniert wird in das Selbst und in den astralischen Leib. Man ist mit dem, was man als physische und ätherische Hülle hat, der Hüter desjenigen, was zu höheren Sphären sich immer weiter und weiter entwickeln soll. Und im inneren Erleben hat man eigentlich erst ein richtiges, wahres Verstehen des Verhältnisses der äußeren Hüllen zu der inneren Wesenheit des Menschen, wenn man die äußere Wesenheit als Hüter der inneren Wesenheit fühlt.
Nun aber, wenn man an dem Hüter der Schwelle vorbeigekommen ist, bleibt dieses Erlebnis, das ich hier geschildert habe, nicht allein, sondern es wird von einem anderen gefolgt. Zunächst habe ich Ihnen das rein Hellseherische und inspirierte Erlebnis geschildert, das man haben kann, wenn man außer dem physischen und Ätherleib dazu gekommen ist, mit der Paradieses-Imagination sich zu vereinigen, und dann jene Inspiration bekommen hat, die einem eigentlich erst einen Begriff gibt von dem Verhältnis der Hüllen zum Selbst. Wenn man aber an diesem Hüter der Schwelle vorbeigekommen ist, so gesellt sich zu diesem ersten Eindruck ein zweiter; es öffnet sich gleichsam der Blick an dem Hüter der Schwelle vorbei in die physische Welt hinunter. Ich zeichne diesen Strich wie die Grenzlinie zwischen den höheren geistigen Welten und der physischen Welt, so daß da oben das Gebiet der geistigen Welten wäre und da unten das der physischen Welt.
Nun sieht man gleichsam in die physische Welt hinunter, und da tritt ein anderes Bild auf, das Bild, daß man selber hier unten als Mensch steht. Man merkt an sich seinen astralischen Leib; aber dieser astralische Leib, der sich jetzt wie im Spiegelbild zeigt, er ist nach abwärts gerichtet, er will nicht die Kraft entfalten, nach der geistigen Welt hinzuströmen; er bleibt gleichsam an dem physischen Plan kleben und hängen, er erhebt sich nicht nach der Höhe. Man sieht auch das Spiegelbild des anderen Wesens; dessen astralischer Leib strömt nach aufwärts. Man hat das Gefühl: dieser astralische Leib strömt in die geistige Welt ein. Man sieht sich, man sieht den anderen, man hat das Gefühl: Du stehst da unten noch einmal; an der Stelle des anderen Wesens steht ein wirklich anderer Mensch da unten; es ist ein Mensch, der besser ist als du; sein astralischer Leib strebt nach oben, geht wie Rauch nach oben. Dein astralischer Leib strebt nach der Erde zu, geht wie Rauch nach unten. Man bekommt ein Gefühl von dem Selbst, das in einem drinnen lebt, indem man da hinunterschaut, und man bekommt den furchtbaren Eindruck: In dir dämmert ein Entschluß auf, ein furchtbarer Entschluß auf - der Entschluß, den anderen, den du als besser fühlst, zu töten. Man weiß: dieser Entschluß kommt nicht ganz aus dem Selbst; denn das Selbst hat man da oben. Es ist ein anderes Wesen, das da unten aus einem spricht; aber dieses gibt den Entschluß ein, den anderen zu töten. Und jetzt hört man wieder die Stimme, die vorher inspiriert hat die Inspiration, aber jetzt wie eine furchtbare rächende Stimme: «Wo ist dein Bruder? » Und es ringt sich aus diesem Selbst die Gegenstimme los zu der früheren. Früher war die Inspiration diese: Dadurch, daß du dich vereinigt hast mit den segnenden Mächten der anderen Wesenheit, wirst du mit diesen segnenden Mächten nach abwärts dich ergießen, und ich werde dich zum Hüter machen des anderen Wesens. Jetzt entringt sich diesem Wesen, das man als sich selbst erkennt, das Wort: «Ich will nicht der Hüter meines Bruders sein.» Zuerst der Entschluß, den anderen zu töten, dann der Protest gegen die Stimme, die also inspirierend war: Ich bestelle dich, weil du deine Kälte mit jener Wärme hast vereinigen wollen, zum Hüter des anderen - der Protest: Ich will nicht der Hüter sein.
Wenn man dieses imaginative Erlebnis gehabt hat, meine lieben Freunde, dann weiß man, wessen alles eine Menschenseele fähig sein kann, und dann weiß man vor allen Dingen eines: daß, wenn sie verkehrt werden in ihr Gegenteil, die edelsten Dinge der geistigen Welten zu den furchtbarsten Dingen der physischen Welt werden können. Man weiß, daß auf dem Grunde der menschlichen Seele durch Verkehrung der edelsten Opferwilligkeit der Wunsch entstehen kann, den Mitmenschen zu töten. Von diesem Augenblicke an weiß man, was mit der Kain- und Abel-Geschichte in der Bibel gemeint ist; aber erst von diesem Momente an, denn die Kain- und Abel-Geschichte, die ist nichts anderes als die Wiedergabe eines okkulten Erlebnisses, und zwar jenes, von dem eben gesprochen worden ist. Hätte - aus anderen Gründen als denen, die da vorlagen im Laufe der Menschheitsentwicklung - hätte der Schreiber der Kain- und Abel-Geschichte schildern können dasjenige, was mit dem Menschen vorgegangen ist vor dem Zeitpunkt der Paradiesesgeschichte, so hätte er das erste (auf der Zeichnung), das obere Erlebnis geschildert. So beginnt er mit der Paradiesesgeschichte und schildert die Spiegelung; denn so fühlte der Kain dem Abel gegenüber, bevor der Zeitpunkt in der Erdenentwicklung da war, der durch die Paradiesesgeschichte angedeutet ist, so fühlte der Kain dem Abel gegenüber, wie es hier oben angedeutet worden ist. Und nach der Versuchung und nach dem Verlust jener Anschauung, die wieder errungen wird in okkultem Schauen durch die Paradieses-Imagination, war bei Kain die Opferwilligkeit übergegangen in das, was hier unten auftritt. Und der Wunsch der Seele, den anderen zu töten, hatte sich in Wirklichkeit umgewandelt. Und der Ruf, der uns in der Bibel mitgeteilt wird: Soll ich denn der Hüter meines Bruders sein?, der ist das Spiegelbild der anderen Inspiration: Ich will dich hier unten auf Erden zum Hüter des anderen bestellen.
Gerade aus dieser Darstellung werden Sie ermessen, daß solche typischen Erlebnisse gewiß bedeutungsvoll sind; denn sie stellen eine gewisse Verbindung her zwischen dem, was wir heute sein können, und den allgemeinsten Menschheitsinteressen. Aber zu gleicher Zeit zeigen sie uns gerade ganz deutlich, wie in dem, was wir an ihnen erleben im auf- und abwogenden Seelenleben, die Hauptsache ist, zu empfinden, wie die Menschheitsentwicklung diesen kolossalen Sprung gemacht hat von dem, was ich Ihnen als die erste, sozusagen vorirdische Imagination geschildert habe, zu dem, was hingestellt wird in der Kain-Abel-Geschichte als Menschheitsereignis nach der Vertreibung aus dem Paradiese, nach jener Vertreibung, durch welche unsichtbar geworden ist der Hüter der Schwelle für die Menschen. Die Bekanntschaft mit diesem Sprung in der Entwicklung der Menschheit, dies zeigt uns eigentlich erst, was dieser Erdenmensch ist; denn wenn man das, was jetzt erzählt worden ist, ganz durchfühlt, dann erfährt man allmählich, wie dieser Erdenmensch gleichsam so, wie er hier auf die Erde gestellt ist, die Verkehrung desjenigen ist, was er einstmals war. Und ganz gewiß weiß man, was man geworden wäre, wenn nichts anderes eingetreten wäre. Würde man ohne alles andere einfach in dieser Erdenentwicklung sich entfaltet haben, dann würde man gewußt haben, wovon das auf der Erde die Widerspiegelung ist. Das durfte man zunächst nicht wissen.
Im Grunde ist erst in unserer Zeit die Möglichkeit gegeben, daß die Menschen wissen dürfen, wovon die Kain- und AbelGeschichte die Spiegelung ist: daß sie die Spiegelung ist eines hohen Opfers. Alles das, was oben war, was vorparadiesisch war, wurde verhüllt, indem der Hüter selber es verdeckte, indem mit anderen Worten die Menschen aus dem Paradies ausgetrieben worden sind. Und das konnte nur dadurch geschehen, daß der physische und Ätherleib des Menschen nun so mit Kräften durchsetzt wurden, daß der Mensch dasjenige nicht ausführt, was sich als Spiegelbild ergibt; denn ganz gewiß würde der Mensch das ausführen, wenn er fühlen würde alles, was in dem Astralleibe ist. Der physische Leib und der Ätherleib betäuben den Menschen so weit, daß der Wunsch in ihm, den anderen zu töten, nicht Tatsache wird. Bedenken Sie, was mit diesem einfachen Satz gesagt ist: Dadurch, daß die guten fortschreitenden göttlich-geistigen Mächte den physischen und Ätherleib des Menschen ihm so gegeben haben, daß er nicht zurückschauen kann, dadurch wird zugleich etwas wie eine Art Betäubung ausgegossen über den Wunsch des Krieges aller gegen alle. Dieser Wunsch wird nicht rege in der Seele, weil des Menschen physischer und Ätherleib so zubereitet worden sind, daß dieser Wunsch betäubt wird. Der Mensch kann seinen astralischen Leib nicht schauen; daher bleibt ihm auch dieser Wunsch unbekannt, er führt ihn nicht aus.
Sehen Sie, wenn man den astralischen Leib in einer Wechselwirkung mit dem Selbst wirklich schildern will, dann muß man Dinge schildern, die nicht nur tatsächlich verborgen bleiben der Menschennatur, sondern die verborgen bleiben müssen. Was ist denn aber dadurch geschehen, daß dieser Wunsch und ähnliche Wünsche, die auf Vernichtung, auf Zerstörung des menschlichen und sonstigen auf dem physischen Plan wirkenden Zusammenseins hingehen, übertäubt sind? Sie sind abgeschwächt; die menschliche Seele empfindet sie nur abgeschwächt, empfindet sie sozusagen nur leise. Und dieses leise Empfinden jener Wünsche, die etwas so Furchtbares wären, wenn der Mensch sie ausleben würde, so wie sie eigentlich sind, das ist die wirkliche menschliche Erdenerkenntnis.
Ich spreche hiermit zuerst die Definition aus, was die menschliche Erdenerkenntnis ist. Diese menschliche Erdenerkenntnis sind die stumpf gemachten Zerstörungstriebe: Shiva in seiner furchtbarsten Gestalt so weit abgestumpft, daß er sich nicht auslebt, sondern daß er gleichsam fadenscheinig gemacht, ausgepreßt bis zur menschlichen Vorstellungswelt geworden ist, das ist die Maja des Inneren, das ist die Erkenntnis des Menschen. So mußte die Erkenntnis abgeschwächt werden, respektive so mußten die Triebe und inneren Kräfte abgeschwächt werden, damit das ursprünglich Furchtbare, in dem Ahriman drinnen waltet - denn ursprünglich ist es Ahriman, der diesen Wunsch hier erregt -, damit Ahrimans Gewalt so weit abgeschwächt werde, damit der Mensch nicht Ahriman auslebte und ständig sich dadurch zum Diener des Shiva machte. So weit mußte abgeschwächt werden dasjenige, was die Summe dieser Kräfte ist, daß sie nur so walten in dem Menschen, daß er mit seinen Begriffen und Ideen sich in die anderen Wesen hineinversetzen kann. Wenn man mit einem Begriffe versucht, ein anderes Wesen zu durchdringen, wenn man die Vorstellung zu versenken sucht in das Wesen eines anderen, so ist diese in das Wesen eines anderen hineinversenkte Vorstellung die abgestumpfte Waffe des Kain, die in Abel hineingestoßen wurde. Und daß sie so abgeschwächt wurde, diese Waffe, das machte möglich, daß das, was mit einem Ruck in sein Gegenteil verkehrt worden ist, in Evolution übergeht. Und so kommt der Mensch in langsamer Evolution durch immer weitergehende Verstärkung der Erkenntnisse dahin, daß er, was er nicht ausleben durfte in der physischen Welt, weil es da Zerstörungstrieb geworden ist, daß er das nach und nach entwickelt - erst in der gegenständlichen Erkenntnis, dann in der imaginativen Erkenntnis, die schon mehr in das Wesen des anderen geht, in der inspirativen Erkenntnis, die noch näher in das Wesen des anderen dringt, in der intuitiven Erkenntnis, die ganz hineingeht, aber geistig mit dem anderen selbst fortlebt in dem anderen Wesen. So ringen wir uns allmählich herauf, zu begreifen, was dieses Selbst eigentlich ist. Der astralische Leib ist, seiner innersten Natur nach angesehen, der große Egoist; das Selbst ist mehr als der große Egoist, das will nicht nur sich, das will sich noch in dem anderen, das will noch hinübergehen in das andere. Und die Erkenntnis, wie sie auf der Erde errungen ist, ist diese abgestumpfte Sucht, in das andere hinüberzutreten, auszudehnen alles, was man ist, nicht nur in sich, sondern weiter über sich hinaus in das andere hinein. Sie ist ein Steigen des Egoismus über sich selbst hinaus.
Wenn Sie diesen Ursprung der Erkenntnis zunächst ins Auge fassen, dann werden Sie begreifen, wie überall die Möglichkeit vorliegt, diese Erkenntnis zu mißbrauchen; denn in dem Augenblick, wo diese Erkenntnis abirrt, wird sie sogleich zum Mißbrauch, wenn diese Erkenntnis eine wirkliche Erkenntnis im Selbst ist. Nur dadurch, daß man fortschreitet, immer geistiger und geistiger dieses Hineindringen ins andere macht und aus dem zu Weltinteressen erweiterten astralischen Leib dazu gelangt, auf jegliches Eindringen in das andere zu verzichten, daß man völlig unberührt in seinem eigenen Bestande dieses andere läßt, daß man des anderen Interessen höherstellt als die eigenen Interessen, nur dadurch macht man sich reif, in der Erkenntnis aufzusteigen. Sonst kann man ohnedies nicht ein Wesen aus der Hierarchie der Angeloi erkennen, wenn man nicht dahin gelangt ist, daß einen das Innere der Angeloi mehr interessiert als das eigene. Solange man mehr Interesse hat für sein eigenes Wesen als für das Wesen der Angeloi, so lange kann man nicht die Angeloi erkennen. Man muß sich also erziehen zuerst zu Welteninteressen und dann zu Interessen, die noch weitergehen, so daß einem andere bedeutungsvoller, wichtiger sein können als man selbst. In dem Augenblick, wo man versucht, sein Selbst weiterzubringen in den okkulten Erlebnissen, und einem doch dieses eigene Selbst wertvoller bleibt als die anderen Wesen, die man erkennen will, in dem Augenblick ist die Abirrung da. Und hier, wenn Sie diesen Gedankengang verfolgen, kommen Sie eigentlich zu einer wirklichen Vorstellung über das, was schwarze Magie ist; denn die schwarze Magie beginnt da, wo okkulte Tätigkeit hineingetragen wird in die Welt, ohne daß man in der Lage ist, zuerst seine Interessen zu Weltinteressen auszudehnen, ohne daß man andere Interessen mehr schätzen kann als seine eigenen Interessen.
Solche Dinge kann man eigentlich nur so geben, daß man die Anregungen gibt zu den Vorstellungen, denn sie sind zu bedeutungsvoll, als daß man mehr geben könnte als eine Anregung dazu. Ich wollte zeigen, wie man allmählich dahin kommen kann, das, was in unserem Inneren lebt als astralischer Leib und Selbst, seiner wahren Gestalt nach, nicht in der Maja, zu erkennen; denn so wie der Mensch seinen astralischen Leib innerlich erlebt, so ist es nicht der wirkliche astralische Leib, so ist es der astralische Leib, wie er sich spiegelt im Ätherleib. Und was der Mensch sein Selbst nennt, ist nicht das wirkliche Ich, ist das Ich, wie es sich spiegelt im physischen Leib. Spiegelbilder seines Inneren erlebt der Mensch nur. Und wenn er unreif die Gestaltungen dieses eigenen inneren Astralleibes und Ichs erleben würde, so entstünden in ihm Zerstörungstriebe, so würde er ein aggressives Wesen, so entstünde in ihm die Lust zu schaden. Und diese Dinge liegen ja aller schwarzen Magie zugrunde. Wenn auch die Wege, welche die schwarze Magie geht, sehr verschieden sind, der Effekt, den sie erzielen, hat immer etwas von einem Bündnis mit Ahriman oder mit Shiva. Und dadurch lernt man nur astralischen Leib und Ich in ihrer wirklichen Gestalt erkennen, daß man weiß: Man darf sie nur erkennen lernen, wenn man zugleich bejaht die Notwendigkeit, daß sie sich entwickeln und würdig und wert machen müssen, das zu sein, was sie sein sollen. Die innerste Natur des astralischen Leibes ist der Egoismus; das Ideal muß aber sein, Egoist sein zu dürfen, weil die Weltinteressen die eigenen Interessen werden. Das Ideal muß sein, in das andere Wesen untertauchen zu dürfen, weil der Wille vorliegt, in den anderen Wesen nicht sich zu suchen mit seinen Interessen, sondern das andere Wesen bedeutungsvoller zu finden, als man sich selber findet. Die Selbsterziehung muß so weit gehen, dieses obere Bild in seiner ganzen okkult-moralischen Bedeutung zu fühlen, dieses Bild: das, was man selber ist, allmählich so umzugestalten, daß einen die eigenen Affekte, die eigenen Triebe, Begierden und Leidenschaften nicht mehr wärmen können, sondern daß man mit dem Sicheinleben in den astralischen Leib sich einlebt in frostige Einsamkeit und dadurch sich der Wärme öffnet; das heißt, dem warmen Interesse, das von den anderen Welten ausströmt und sich den segnenden Kräften vereinen will, die von diesem anderen Wesen ausgehen. Damit ist uns zugleich der Ausgangspunkt gegeben für ein nach und nach Sicherheben zu den höheren Hierarchien in ihrer wirklichen Gestalt. Wir gelangen sonst nicht hinauf in die Wesenheiten der höheren Hierarchien, wenn wir nicht imstande sind, uns würdig dieser Imagination und Inspiration, wie sie geschildert worden ist, entgegenzustellen und ihr Gegenbild auszuhalten, das heißt: die Möglichkeiten in den Tiefen der menschlichen Natur, als sie herabgeworfen wurde aus den geistigen Welten in die physische Welt. Wenn man das Doppelbild Kain und Abel, unten sich und den Repräsentanten seines höheren Selbstes, aber den Vermittler zwischen sich und den höheren Hierarchien nicht schauen will, kann man nicht hinaufsteigen. Dann aber, wenn man imstande ist, dieses Gefühl, das hier angedeutet ist, in sich zu kultivieren, dann erlebt man sein Selbst und von diesem aus den Zugang zu den Hierarchien der höheren Ordnungen.
Ninth Lecture
When approaching the processes in the astral body and in the human self, insofar as they are experienced through occult development, the description becomes increasingly difficult. For with the experience in these members of human nature, one moves very far away from what one is accustomed to experiencing in everyday life. In ordinary soul life, it is indeed the case that one perceives as one's inner life the life in the astral body in the ebbing and flowing passions, emotions, drives, desires, and so on; that one also perceives as one's inner life that which finds expression in the summary in the I. But what we experience in this way is nothing more than the reflection of the self and the astral body on the etheric body and the physical body; it is not a conscious co-experience of the astral body and the self. And through what we have in ordinary soul life, we cannot gain any real idea of the actual experience within the higher worlds in the astral body and in the self. Therefore, when describing these things, one must resort to a mode of representation that is natural to these higher worlds; one must resort to imaginations, and these imaginations are indeed experienced in reality. But you must not imagine, my dear friends, that looking at, or staring at, the clairvoyant imaginations is the only thing one experiences; it is not even the main thing, so to speak; the main thing is what one experiences inwardly, what the soul goes through in terms of processes and inner trials when it is confronted with these imaginations.
And so it is especially with such significant, powerful imaginations as the one that has been described in the Paradise Imagination. Anyone who truly experiences this Paradise Imagination, anyone who can regard it as an achievement of higher experience, feels themselves standing in the midst of an inner soul-wave, feels themselves moved by an inner soul-wave, and feels how they can, in a sense, stray in the two directions described yesterday. How they are drawn, drawn alive by all the passions and emotions that continue to have an effect from the personal life that one once led on the physical plane—for like a hundred and a hundred magnetic forces, the personal interests that one has gradually attracted to oneself on the physical plane become stronger and stronger—but on the other hand, one feels something else. The closer one comes, the clearer this paradise imagination becomes, the stronger these forces become that pull one down to one's personal interests, and what they do to one is this: they increasingly erase this paradise imagination, or rather, they do not allow it to arise properly; one becomes numb. The personal interests, emotions, feelings, and sensations that you carry with you are hundreds and hundreds of magnetic forces that act as anesthetics. And then, when you try to bring your self-education to the point where you see the astral body more and more in truth, so to speak—because when you have this paradise imagination, you are outside your physical and etheric bodies, that is, you are in your astral body and your I—when you have grasped the nature and character of the astral body, then you know: that it is the egoist. And it is only justified at this point, which one has attained through self-education, if it does not make the personal into its essence, which then comes with a hundred and a hundred forces, but if it can increasingly make the general interests of humanity and the world its own. At this point in occult development, one feels a counterweight to the egoism of the astral body, which arises more and more the more the egoistic forces stir in the liberated astral body. One feels more and more loneliness, icy loneliness. This icy loneliness is also part of what one experiences in the inner waves. And it is this icy loneliness that cures one of allowing egoism to gain the upper hand, and one has educated oneself properly if, at this point in occult development, one can feel side by side the urge to be everything through oneself and for oneself, but also the frosty loneliness approaching one.
It is just as important to have this feeling as it is to gradually approach the imagination of paradise. And when these two forces, the egoism that expands into worldly interests and the frosty loneliness, work together, then one approaches more and more the paradise imagination. And when this has appeared with the corresponding liveliness, when it is really there, then the time has come when one experiences the encounter with the guardian of the threshold in the right way. It is difficult to characterize this guardian of the threshold in a single sentence—I have done so in various places in our reflections. Today, it is less important to characterize this guardian of the threshold than to describe the inner experience of the human shell and the human self. So when you come close to the paradise imagination, that is, when it becomes more and more alive, and you then encounter the guardian of the threshold, you feel the magnetic forces described above even more strongly, and as you stand facing the guardian of the threshold, you feel—and this is a terribly unsettling sensation—as if you are bound, as if you are spellbound. For all these magnetic forces that pull one down into the personal now exert their strongest influence; and only when one has reached this point, when the frosty loneliness has become one's educator to such an extent that one is able to make real world interests one's own interests, does one pass the guardian of the threshold. And then you can feel what can be called: you unite with the paradise imagination, you become one with it. You then feel yourself inside it. This experience of feeling inside is like feeling justified in the interests of the world, so that you can admit to yourself: Yes, you may assert your own interests, for they are now the interests of the world. But if you cannot get past this, if you have not yet gained enough general interests, then your personal interests pull you back, and then what occurs in occultism occurs: you cannot get past the guardian of the threshold. Then these personal interests obscure the imagination of paradise; then one gains, so to speak, individual pieces of it, gains vague impressions, but not complete ones, and one is torn back into one's personal life. But it can then happen that one has gained, to a certain degree, the possibility of having clairvoyant experiences. These clairvoyant experiences are then all the more Maya experiences; they can be completely erroneous, for they are permeated and clouded everywhere by personal interests.
Through such an experience, it becomes completely understandable, it becomes serious, so to speak, how personal interests must have been transformed into world interests if one really wants to see what is true in the spiritual world. It is indeed the case that one cannot really believe it beforehand, since personal interests speak against this belief; but at the point described, one already notices it.
We are now, my dear friends, at a rather daring point in the description of occult conditions. Nevertheless, we shall attempt to describe the next steps in such a way as they arise from the experience of the occultist and as they must be given if we are to expect the listeners to try to make these things their own in a certain way and to work them further. For these things cannot be given in dry, abstract terms; one must try to trace what emerges from clairvoyant observation. Now, this clairvoyant vision is not to be understood as something that can be drawn with rigid, schematic necessity; but what I am about to describe is again a typical experience, like the experience of paradise, and one must actually have this experience in order to recognize afterwards what knowledge actually is and what occult vision actually is. Beforehand, one cannot have a correct concept, I mean an experienced concept of occult vision. However, once such things have been described, one can still understand them oneself if one uses common sense. But it must first be described as it can be described from the vision.
I'll just imagine that someone got past the guardian of the threshold, celebrated their union with the paradise imagination, and felt like this paradise imagination had become their own bigger astral shell. So that he still feels his astral body in itself, that he knows it is connected with his self; but that this astral body at the same time extends its interests to everything that concerns the things and beings of the Paradise imagination. When the person has celebrated this union with the Paradise imagination, he may have the following impression: He will perceive his own astral body as belonging to him, and when he has felt sufficiently what has just been described as frosty loneliness, this feeling will become a force within him, and this feeling of frosty loneliness will prevent him from seeing only himself when he has celebrated his union with the Paradise imagination. He will thereby create, as it were, the organ for seeing other beings. His occult gaze will first fall on another being, a being that will make a special impression on him because it will appear to him similar to himself. He himself feels himself in his self and his astral body; the other being will also appear to him at first with a self and an astral body. This happens because the qualities and powers that the human being brings with him for such a moment cause him to be able to see precisely such a being, which presents itself as if in a self and in an astral body. Now the human being will feel the following, and this feeling is caused by the frosty loneliness that he has learned to endure.
His astral body will manifest itself in its forces as if it wanted to stream upward. If I wanted to represent this schematically, I would have to draw it like this—but as I said, I am only making a very schematic drawing: I draw the self as a comet nucleus and the astral body as a comet tail extending upward. But that is schematic; for one sees a being, one sees oneself as a being — and seeing is much more complicated than seeing one's own being as a physical human being. The other being you look at, you also see in your own self — as I said, this is a typical experience; it is meant to be that your gaze first falls on such a being — but you feel that this being does not stand in such a sphere of frosty loneliness as you do, and thus it shows its astral body as if directed downward. It is extremely significant to experience this: feeling oneself as if in an astral body that opens upward, unfolds its forces upward, wants to flow upward, and seeing the other, the other being, as a self whose astral body unfolds its forces downward.
Now, in contrast to this typical experience, something arises in self-consciousness such as: You are at a disadvantage, you are less valuable than this other being. What is valuable about the other being is that it can open its astral body downward, pour its forces downward, as it were; that is valuable about this being. And one gets the impression that one has left the physical world, that the forces which go downward from the astral body of the other go to the physical world and work there as blessing forces. In short, you have the impression that you are facing a being who is allowed to send down to earth, like a blessing rain of spirit, what he has achieved in the spiritual world; and you yourself cannot direct your astral body downward, it wants to go upward. You get the feeling that this makes you less valuable because you cannot direct your astral body downward. And one furthermore gets the feeling that this consciousness that has risen up within you must lead you to a spiritual deed. A spiritual decision matures. The spiritual decision that matures is that one carries one's loneliness to this second being and allows one's coldness to be warmed by the warmth of the other being, that one unites with this other being. For a moment, you have the impression that your consciousness is being extinguished, that you have caused a kind of death of your own being, a kind of burning of your own being. Then something happens that can be called inspiration. Something breaks into the self-consciousness, which already felt as if it had been extinguished, something that one only now becomes aware of. One feels inspired. It is like a conversation, a typical conversation, which is now being conducted with a being that one only knows because it allows its inspiration to flow to one. If one is able to truly understand what this being sends in as its inspiring voice, one could translate what this inspiring being says into words such as: Because you have found the way to the other and have united yourself with his shower of sacrifices, you may return with him, in him, to earth, and I will appoint you as his guardian on earth. And one has the feeling that one has absorbed something infinitely significant into one's soul by being allowed to hear these words, the words through inspiration. There is a being in the spiritual world that is more valuable than oneself, that is allowed to pour its astrality downward in a blessing. That one may unite with it and that, when one has arrived below, one may be its guardian—through this impression one learns to understand how one, as a physical human being walking around on earth, really behaves with one's physical and etheric sheath toward what is impregnated into the self and into the astral body as higher forces. With what you have as your physical and etheric sheath, you are the guardian of that which is to develop further and further into higher spheres. And in your inner experience, you only really have a true understanding of the relationship between the outer sheaths and the inner essence of the human being when you feel the outer essence as the guardian of the inner essence.
Now, however, once one has passed the guardian of the threshold, the experience I have described here does not remain alone, but is followed by another. First, I described to you the purely clairvoyant and inspired experience that one can have when, in addition to the physical and etheric bodies, one has come to unite with the Paradise imagination and then received that inspiration which actually gives one a concept of the relationship between the shells and the self. But once you have passed this guardian of the threshold, a second impression joins the first; your view opens up, as it were, past the guardian of the threshold and down into the physical world. I draw this line as the boundary between the higher spiritual worlds and the physical world, so that the realm of the spiritual worlds is above and the physical world is below.
Now you look down into the physical world, as it were, and another image appears, the image of yourself standing here below as a human being. You are aware of your astral body, but this astral body, which now appears as a mirror image, is directed downward; it does not want to unfold its power to flow toward the spiritual world; it remains, as it were, stuck and hanging on the physical plane; it does not rise upward. You also see the mirror image of the other being, whose astral body is flowing upward. One has the feeling that this astral body is flowing into the spiritual world. One sees oneself, one sees the other, one has the feeling that one is standing there again; in the place of the other being there is a truly different person standing there; it is a person who is better than oneself; his astral body strives upward, rises like smoke. Your astral body strives toward the earth, goes down like smoke. You get a feeling of the self that lives within you as you look down there, and you get the terrible impression: a decision dawns within you, a terrible decision—the decision to kill the other person, whom you feel is better than you. You know that this decision does not come entirely from the self, because the self is up there. It is another being that speaks from below, but it is this being that makes the decision to kill the other. And now you hear again the voice that previously inspired the inspiration, but now it is like a terrible, vengeful voice: “Where is your brother? And the countervoice struggles out of this self in opposition to the earlier one. Earlier, the inspiration was this: by uniting yourself with the blessing powers of the other being, you will pour yourself downward with these blessing powers, and I will make you the guardian of the other being. Now the words “I do not want to be my brother's guardian” break free from this being, which recognizes itself as itself. First the decision to kill the other, then the protest against the voice that was so inspiring: “I appoint you, because you wanted to unite your coldness with that warmth, to be the guardian of the other” — the protest: “I do not want to be the guardian.”
If you have had this imaginative experience, my dear friends, then you know what a human soul is capable of, and then you know one thing above all: that when they are turned into their opposite, the noblest things of the spiritual worlds can become the most terrible things of the physical world. You know that at the bottom of the human soul, the reversal of the noblest willingness to sacrifice can give rise to the desire to kill one's fellow human beings. From that moment on, one knows what is meant by the story of Cain and Abel in the Bible; but only from that moment on, because the story of Cain and Abel is nothing more than the reproduction of an occult experience, namely the one just mentioned. If, for reasons other than those that existed in the course of human evolution, the writer of the story of Cain and Abel had been able to describe what happened to human beings before the time of the story of Paradise, he would have described the first (in the drawing), the upper experience. So he begins with the story of Paradise and describes the mirroring; for this is how Cain felt toward Abel before the time in Earth's development indicated by the story of Paradise, this is how Cain felt toward Abel, as indicated above. And after the temptation and the loss of that insight, which is regained in occult vision through the Paradise imagination, Cain's willingness to sacrifice had turned into what appears here below. And the soul's desire to kill the other had in reality been transformed. And the cry that is communicated to us in the Bible: “Am I my brother's keeper?” is the mirror image of the other inspiration: “I will appoint you here below on earth to be the keeper of the other.”
From this description alone, you will realize that such typical experiences are certainly significant, for they establish a certain connection between what we can be today and the most general interests of humanity. But at the same time, they show us very clearly how, in what we experience in them in the ebbing and flowing life of the soul, the main thing is to feel how human development has made this colossal leap from what I have described to you as the first, so to speak, pre-earthly imagination to what is presented in the Cain and Abel story as a human event after the expulsion from Paradise, after that expulsion through which the guardian of the threshold became invisible to human beings. It is only when we become acquainted with this leap in the development of humanity that we really understand what this earthly human being is; for when we feel through what has now been said, we gradually learn how this earthly human being, as he stands here on earth, is, as it were, the reversal of what he once was. And one knows quite certainly what one would have become if nothing else had happened. If one had simply developed in this earthly evolution without anything else, then one would have known what this is the reflection of on earth. One was not allowed to know this at first.
Basically, it is only in our time that people are allowed to know what the story of Cain and Abel reflects: that it is the reflection of a great sacrifice. Everything that was above, that was pre-paradise, was veiled by the guardian himself, in other words, by driving people out of paradise. And this could only happen because the physical and etheric bodies of human beings were now so permeated with forces that human beings do not carry out what is reflected in them; for human beings would certainly carry it out if they felt everything that is in the astral body. The physical body and the etheric body numb human beings to such an extent that the desire to kill others does not become a reality. Consider what is said in this simple sentence: Because the good, progressive divine-spiritual powers have given the physical and etheric bodies to humans in such a way that they cannot look back, something like a kind of numbness is poured out over the desire for war of all against all. This desire does not become active in the soul because the physical and etheric bodies of humans have been prepared in such a way that this desire is numbed. Man cannot see his astral body; therefore, this desire remains unknown to him, and he does not carry it out.
You see, if one really wants to describe the astral body in interaction with the self, one must describe things that not only remain hidden from human nature, but must remain hidden. But what has happened as a result of this desire and similar desires, which tend toward annihilation, toward the destruction of human and other beings acting on the physical plane, being dulled? They have been weakened; the human soul perceives them only in a weakened form, perceives them, so to speak, only faintly. And this faint perception of those desires, which would be so terrible if human beings lived them out as they actually are, is the real human knowledge of the earth.
I am hereby stating the definition of what human knowledge of the earth is. This human earthly knowledge is the blunted destructive instincts: Shiva in his most terrible form, so dulled that he does not live out his life, but has been made threadbare, squeezed out to the point of becoming the human world of ideas; this is the Maya of the inner world, this is human knowledge. Thus, knowledge had to be weakened, or rather, the instincts and inner forces had to be weakened so that the originally terrible force that reigns within Ahriman—for it is originally Ahriman who arouses this desire—could be weakened to such an extent that human beings would not live out Ahriman and thereby constantly make themselves servants of Shiva. The sum total of these forces had to be weakened to such an extent that they only prevail in human beings in such a way that they can put themselves in the place of other beings with their concepts and ideas. When one tries to penetrate another being with a concept, when one seeks to immerse one's imagination in the being of another, this imagination immersed in the being of another is the blunt weapon of Cain that was thrust into Abel. And the fact that this weapon was thus weakened made it possible for that which had been suddenly turned into its opposite to pass into evolution. And so, in a slow process of evolution, through the ever-increasing strengthening of his knowledge, man arrives at the point where he develops, little by little, what he was not allowed to live out in the physical world because it would have become a destructive impulse. he develops it little by little—first in objective knowledge, then in imaginative knowledge, which already goes more into the essence of the other, in inspirational knowledge, which penetrates even closer into the essence of the other, in intuitive knowledge, which goes completely in, but spiritually lives on with the other in the other being. In this way we gradually struggle to understand what this self actually is. The astral body, viewed in its innermost nature, is the great egoist; the self is more than the great egoist, it does not only want itself, it wants itself in the other, it wants to pass over into the other. And the knowledge gained on earth is this dulled addiction to pass over into the other, to extend everything that one is, not only within oneself, but further beyond oneself into the other. It is an ascent of egoism beyond itself.
If you first consider this origin of knowledge, you will understand how everywhere there is the possibility of misusing this knowledge; for the moment this knowledge goes astray, it immediately becomes misuse, if this knowledge is real knowledge in the self. Only by progressing, by making this penetration into the other more and more spiritual, and by passing from the astral body, which has been expanded to include world interests, to renouncing all penetration into the other, by leaving the other completely untouched in its own existence, by placing the interests of the other above one's own interests, only then does one become ripe to ascend in knowledge. Otherwise, one cannot recognize a being from the hierarchy of the Angeloi unless one has reached the point where one is more interested in the inner life of the Angeloi than in one's own. As long as one is more interested in one's own being than in the being of the Angeloi, one cannot recognize the Angeloi. One must therefore first educate oneself to have an interest in the world and then to have interests that go even further, so that others can be more meaningful and important to one than oneself. The moment one tries to advance one's self in occult experiences, and yet one's own self remains more valuable than the other beings one wants to recognize, at that moment the aberration is there. And here, if you follow this line of thought, you actually arrive at a real idea of what black magic is; for black magic begins where occult activity is brought into the world without one first being able to extend one's interests to the world, without being able to value other interests more than one's own interests.
Such things can really only be conveyed by stimulating the imagination, for they are too significant to give more than a hint. I wanted to show how one can gradually come to recognize what lives within us as the astral body and the self in its true form, not in Maya; for just as human beings experience their astral body inwardly, it is not the real astral body, but the astral body as it is reflected in the etheric body. And what the human being calls his self is not the real I, it is the I as it is reflected in the physical body. The human being experiences only mirror images of his inner being. And if he were to experience the forms of his own inner astral body and I in an immature state, destructive impulses would arise in him, he would become an aggressive being, and the desire to harm would arise in him. And these things are at the root of all black magic. Even though the paths taken by black magic are very different, the effect they achieve always has something of an alliance with Ahriman or Shiva. And it is only by learning to recognize the astral body and the ego in their true form that one comes to know that one can only learn to recognize them if one at the same time affirms the necessity that they must develop and make themselves worthy and valuable to be what they are meant to be. The innermost nature of the astral body is egoism; but the ideal must be to be allowed to be egoistic, because the interests of the world become one's own interests. The ideal must be to be allowed to immerse oneself in other beings, because one has the will not to seek oneself in other beings with one's own interests, but to find the other being more meaningful than oneself. Self-education must go so far as to feel this higher image in its entire occult-moral meaning, this image: gradually transforming what one is oneself in such a way that one's own emotions, drives, desires, and passions can no longer warm one, but that, by living into the astral body, one lives into a frosty solitude and thereby opens oneself to warmth; that is, to the warm interest that flows out from other worlds and wants to unite with the blessing forces that emanate from this other being. This also gives us the starting point for gradually rising to the higher hierarchies in their real form. Otherwise, we cannot ascend to the beings of the higher hierarchies if we are not able to face this imagination and inspiration, as it has been described, with dignity and endure its counterimage, that is, the possibilities in the depths of human nature when it was cast down from the spiritual worlds into the physical world. If one does not want to see the double image of Cain and Abel, with Cain below and the representative of his higher self above, but the mediator between himself and the higher hierarchies, one cannot ascend. But then, when one is able to cultivate this feeling that is indicated here, one experiences one's self and, from this, access to the hierarchies of the higher orders.